Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Carpenter is not locksmith, OKAY??

Yesterday, I received a unknown number call.

She: Wai...Judy ar...regarding the bla bla bla
Me: Sorry, is not Judy here. She is not in..
She: so u are...??
Me: I'm Lily..
She: Ok..Lily..I juz want to check with u, what time ur man will come tomolo?
Me: Er....sorry ar..where are u calling from?
She: I'm Michell from XXX, at ara damansara, last time u all do renovation one.
Me: Oh..Michell, so what can i help u?
She: Neh..I told Judy already, my key is lock in the cabinet. I've an important documents which I need it tomolo morning...so can u arrange ur man come early?
Me: Oh..like that ar. Ok, I will inform Judy, because she is the one arrange it.
She: Ok..so please let me know the time ASAP ya.
Me: Ok..

Her situation:
Her cabinet's key is lock inside the cabinet...
well, I donno how smart she is..can let this happen...
Since we are the one supply the cabinets for them,
so she called us to solve it.
but, I wonder why she will have my number.....
(肯定是JUDY干的好事!)

Then, I sms to my boss ask her what time the workers will be there tomolo. I mention Michell said be EARLY.
and my boss reply : She think she is the only person busy. tomolo 11am reach.
Ok..then I call back to Michell and tell her AROUND 11 am.

Today, 11am I receive Michell's call
Michell : Lily ar..ur workers not here yet!
Me: Oh..they should be on da way d....

11.20am she called again.
I was on my office phone that time.
Since I din't pick up the call, she call n call again...
Ok, finally I answered.
Michell: Wai..they still not here yet wor!!
Me: Yes, yes...I already called them, they on da way..they coming from another site, take some time to reach!
Michell: Ok..by da way... r ur man the cabinet carpenter ar??
Me: yes...of coz
Michell: so they should know how to open the lock rite? coz Judy said need to change to whole lock wor...
Me: by right is need to change the whole lock lor..bcoz this is not like the door lock wat.
Michell: but ur man do this cabinet one , they should know how to open the lock rite?
Me: Yes...we are carpenter, we are not locksmith u know...need to change the whole lock la...
Michell: oh...like that ar...

I let this customer 炸到
n I really don't understand that...y should I handle this case..?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Dun eat Bread~

i was calling my 黑娃娃 during lunch time...drood~ drooood~~ drood~ drooood~~

黑娃娃 : hey..
me : hey, wassup?
黑娃娃 : i'm good..how about u?
me : i'm good too...did u have lunch?
黑娃娃 : yeah~ u?
me : yeah..me too
黑娃娃 : so wat u had?
me : i had bread...
黑娃娃 : really? bread again? u been eating too much bread recently....its bad~~shud stop eating bread...
me : its ok honey...i didnt eat that much..... so, wat u had for lunch? (trying to change topic)
黑娃娃 : emm..i had bread~
me : .........+_+|||

Friday, July 25, 2008

Fuh-Yoo~~!



Fuh-Yooo~
Banana Tree~

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Siapa punye WAJA?? (Whose WAJA??)

Yesterday was a bz day, been occupied since morning...went to banks, went to kwsp, went to client's 布庄, finally have some time for lunch b4 go back to office.. so, i stopped by KFC n have nice free lunch (i have cash voucher..wahahha). Thats not important thou, the real story is coming~~

After had my sinful KFC lunch, i suddenly remember my 黑娃娃 ask me to get him a deodorant spray, so i stopped by watson ...but cant find a parking space, shit! so i just parked at the road side, n block the other cars.. ( there was a kancil parking behind me). I think shud be ok cos i wont park there for long.. then i walked into Watson n look for wat i want, not long after, i heard someone horning his/her car, i scared n walked out n check...oo...not my car blocking..so i countinue shopping...

Suddenly, someone come inside the shop n i heard " siapa punye kereta Waja?? siapa punye WAJA~~~~~~" (whose WAJA??) an indian guy SHOUTED very loud, ~~i think to myself, NOT MY CAR! not my car~~ the indian guy walked out cos nobody's car...then i also walked out of the shop cos no stock!

At the moment i walked toward my car, i saw that stupid indian was stand next to the kancil, (kancil behind my car) then he started shouting at me, " *%@#*&%#@" act like wanna fight with me somemore... i dun even care wat he shouted....i just replied him, " u cakap kereta WAJA kan (didnt u said WAJA)?? then he shut up n looked at my car...WAHAHA...my car is toyota, not WAJA.. i was so damn 爽 cos i saw the embarrassment on his stupid face....without any words, i straight away get into my car n drove away!!

actually the kancil is parking behind me rite, i was thinking to myself, how is my car blocking his car? he can just turn the steering to the right n go out like that!!! WTF... I JUST DUN UNDERSTAND WHY!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

i guess i hurt-ed him badly!

i was talking to my hei wa wa last nite about the trip to singapore.
i told him our 1st trip together is on 08/08/08, its such a good date! its gonna be our anniversary day. Then, he asked when was the 1st day we met, so i checked my phone cos i still keep the sms he 1st sent to me, when the moment i past my phone to him..."SHIT!" i shouted in my heart, cos i also keep sms from Eton too, n hell yeah, he saw the sms from Eton!!! Without a word, he put down my phone, n keep watching TV, i was so scare! Cos i know i did something really bad, if i put myself in his shoes, i know i hurt-ed him deeply!

Few minutes has past, i tell him sorry n i will delete it later..then he say "OK"..
but when i trying to delete the sms, OMG ~~i stopped! i couldn't do it. i just cant! i know i still cant forget about Eton..i need times....more times!

Monday, July 21, 2008

道德与金钱-历次南方之感慨

  每次从南方回来,都感觉万分奇妙,一路的上的风景,一路上的人,都跟随着北方向的不断迁移而渐渐的变化着,从火车的窗往外望去,绿的,浅绿的,绿中带黄的,最后是黄的.好似一碗热汤,放着放着就凉了,汤凉了,心也凉了.
  还记得第一次独自前往南方游历,就好像第一次XX,时间虽很短,但爽的要死.这一年,来来去去已数不清多少趟,频繁地穿梭与南北之间,感觉穿梭已成为本人的职业,与此同时,那种初下江南的美好感觉突如其来的变化了.初来时站在都市街头无助的盘问,彷徨的眼神,低沉的语调,激动的情绪好似下水,被冲刷的一无所有.
  现在,每当来到这些南方的大都市,我再也不感到那种莫名的激动,从第一脚踏到地面,我就开始拼命的行走,死命的攀谈,不停的掏钱,飞快的用眼睛观察.人已变的不成了样子,奇怪了.
  7月,南方的酷热,就好像美国的荡妇,火辣辣的.让人汗流三背,人间蒸发,这个该死的酷热!许是天气的原故,南方的人和南方的天气一样,湿漉漉的,很显眼,感觉让人肿胀.一种说不出的感觉,总之,不爽.这些南方人,不要看衣衫褴褛,很多人一天赚的钱比我一个月抢的钱都多.不在乎穿衣戴帽,不在乎豪门盛宴,不在乎情感纠合,不在乎你爸是谁,就是这些什么都不在乎,看起来智商低级,无情冷酷的人们,却牢牢实实的把大把大把的钱像喝水一样容易的灌到了自己腰包里.
  这是为什么呢?曾经非常想不通,都有自杀的想法.但是,后来,我想通了,而且是豁然贯通.
  要从很多方面说起:
  第一:地理,南方有着丰茂的水草,平坦的地势,便利的港口.良好的气候.这是大西北所不能拥有的.黄黄的土山,黄黄的河水,黄黄的天空.fu.ck!
  第二:政策,南方有着各种经济特区,各种经济政策,优惠这个开发,支持那个产业.这是大西北所不能拥有的.一有公司建立,一有店铺开业,只见工商,城关,税务,各种执法排队前来领赏.怕了.这就是大西北的经济政策:狠抓就是开会,管理就是收费,重视就是标语,落实就是动嘴,验收就是喝醉,检查就是宴会,研究就是扯皮,政绩就是胡吹,汇报就是掺水,涨价就是接轨.
  第三:发展基础,这是一个很重要的方面.长久以来,南方地区是中国最先发展的地区,人们的思想构成,基础设施建设,都要比我们要先进很多.沿海的港口,平坦的地势让南方的交通便利,信息通达.人家经济的发展从百年前已开始进行.经济的概念早已深入南方各地人民的心中,这是大西北所不能拥有的.
  第四:文化构成.南方的人们已被现代化的商业气息所处处感染.从商而生,从商而死.与我们一辈当官,百戚为僚的思想差别很大.一个经济气息如此浓重地方的人们怎么可能不会做生意,怎么会败给我们一心想着当官,吃大锅饭的人们呢?
  第五:也是一个十分重要的方面.长相.就我所见过的所有南方本地生意人(女人).我只想跟她们谈生意,从没想过跟她们谈感情.所以,在南方,丈夫不用担心妻子红杏出墙,可以安心的工作,死命的挣钱,把它们用来包二奶.女人害怕男人包二奶,死命挣钱,把它们用来整容.南方的男人有动力!南方的女人有压力!于是,这两种力就成为每个家庭的合力,威力巨大.这两种力发展百年,激励着每一代的南方人向一个更高的台阶迈进.我服了你们,你们太优势!而我们北方人,固然大体长的比南方的人个头高,体形美,外貌俊.但看一看,今天这个要离婚,明天那个有一腿,后天那个第三者,大后天玩偷情.你光看,有多少北方的美女去南方当二奶.再看看有没有南方的霉女来北方来被包啊?
  总之,我们的优势就像我们的弱势,被我们置之不理,那我们还能有什么资格挣到钱呢? "人,并不是为了钱而活着."听起来比较掏,我们应该现实一点"人,是为了生存而活着."感觉这样才是对的.但我的想法是再加上几个字"人,是为了生存,并不断的生存的美好而活着."这才是作为一个人最好的目标. 这次回来的路上,由于没有买到卧铺,我与一群同样没有买到卧铺的人还有一群民工站在列车的过道里,车厢里人们挤在一起像屎一样,几乎融为一体.民工们各个浑身的恶臭,蓬头垢面,他们聚集在一起,彼此睽睽而视,让人退避三舍,他们脸上平缓的表情,和沧桑的皱纹表示,显然,他们已习惯了这样的路途.再看看没有买到卧铺的城市人,叫嚣着,我要补软卧,痛苦的脸上露出撕裂的表情.我这一想还有三十多个小时的车程,双腿发软.头上冒出了久别的冷汗,"车上不补卧铺票,这是铁道部的新规定!"一个北方的列车员在人海中撤着嗓子撕心裂肺的宣传.这一下,车内死静,顿时每一个心存希望人的脸变的扭曲,几乎要折断.而民工们的脸,好似板砖,除非把他们摔在地上,才会发生变态.
  我挤在人群中,莫名其妙的来到了民工群里,他们朴实的脸是我在南方很少见到的,虽然很挤,但是他们还是给我让出了一块地方,大的几乎可以让我坐下.我的心都快碎了.这不是一块简单的位置,这是一种用钱买不到的感觉.
  我坐下,一个人静静的思考,为什么在我们的社会,金钱和情义总是背道而驰.为什么金钱不能和情义共同发展?我思考了很久,一个坐在座位上摆弄手机的和尚给了我答案.
  因为,中国人没有信仰.对,的确.你有信仰吗?我有,伊斯兰教,但到现在,我还不知道<古兰经>到底写了些什么.我只知道我信仰的最终目标是不吃猪肉.
  再看看周围的人,有么?为什么欧美国家,虽然经济发达,人们之间依然情义深重.崇尚忠贞的爱情,赞美真诚的友谊.而我们呢,听到的都是些:"朋友都是骗子.""女人都是拿来玩的""小心陌生人""不要让别人占你的便宜""那些要饭的都别理"
  一个相互猜疑,相互排斥的社会它会有什么发展呢?
  一个真正发达的国家,并不只是经济的发达!而是道德与经济的双重发达.一个没有道德的社会,它怎么可能有发达的经济?这是摆在中国人面前一个很严峻的问题.没有信仰的中国人正被资本主义的浪潮所吞并,这是非常可怕的,那些发达国家的人们有着信仰的支撑,有着道德的约束,他们的经济在信仰中进行,在诚信和公平下完成.而我们的社会呢?相互的算计,肆无忌惮的贪婪,无处不在的自私.
  一个有信仰的人,他至少不会变的自私.而一个不自私的人,至少能证明他有让人敬佩的道德. 希望以经济建设为中心的中国能深深的感觉到自己面临的病疾.那么你认识不到,最起码不要让你们的人民变的自私.
   路途异常遥远,就好像新中国的发展,坎坷万千.看着窗外逐渐苍凉的景色,我感慨万千.也许给自己保留一份信仰,好歹也能让我心里爽点……
  昨天晚上,我做了一个梦,我梦见一个手拿大把钞票,穿着华丽的南方人开着豪华的轿车,牵着妖媚的女人来到我面前与我比谁钱多,我输了.他得意的嘲笑我,显露他的金表,名牌的服饰,豪华的轿车,我忍无可忍,最后我不屑一顾的乱刀砍了他,拿走了他身上亿万的资产,给每一个南方人买了一本书,免费发放.那本书就是——《圣经》. 希望再次去南方时,人,最起码让人感到有情.而不是让人感到只有钱.

随流

记得N年前,过生日总要猛闹一场:吃的上吐下泻,喝的烂醉如泥.大了以后再就很少如此了.有些年甚至是几个兄弟在家里胡做个饭一吃草草了事.并不是穷的没钱折腾,而是已没了兴趣再继续折腾.厌烦了,恐惧了,疲惫了.

生日每年都要过,每个人每年都有生日.所以这个东西很让人背不住.就好像女人每个月都要来大姨妈一样,很难料理.有时候看着别人都过生日,自己要是不过都感觉自己不是个人了.这就叫作"随流".如同"圣诞节",西方人喜过圣诞节,张灯结彩,互赠礼物,圣诞老人.于是中国人眼馋了,看见别人有白胡子红袍老汉送礼物嫉妒难忍,就也纷纷过了起来.结果一到圣诞节,中国城市的大街小巷就会闪现出一批面黄肌瘦,嘴角贴黑心棉,身上披劣质红袍的"圣诞老汉".他们并没有给人们带来什么高兴的东西,而是给你些性病广告,化妆品赠品之类恶心的东西.还记得去年冬天路过我家附近的医院.门口站一红衣人,花白胡子.很好奇,故上前,那人见我二话不说就往我手里塞东西,我惊喜万分赶紧走远,窥视手中,后发现是一避孕套.我很气愤,后果很严重.因为这些人侮辱了圣诞节.在外国人眼里中国人过圣诞节就好像回民眼里一个汉民在斋月里闭斋一样,很受刺激.感觉那人是不是急了来凑热闹还是疯狂了.

人总是这样,容易被大局所迷惑,喜欢走别人走过的路,干别人干过的事,读别人写过的书,学别人研过的究,因为他们觉得这样来的快,很过瘾,不吃亏,于是大多数人便成了大局中的平庸,而那些看似跟不上潮流,不学无术,失足青年倒成了奇花一朵,分外妖娆.

但有时候人不得不平庸,不得不随流.因为没有平庸哪来的伟大?于是乎平庸便成为一种潮流.时髦的象征. 我不是个时髦的人,因为我不喜欢平庸.我不是一个伟大的人,因为我还不伟大. 我不想成为大局的平庸,又不敢奢望成为高层的伟大.这怎一个愁字了得````

人在混世,身不由己

早些年,和一起身边的许多人一样,随波逐流的生活过的我屡试不爽。听爹的话,听娘的话,听老师的话,听共产党的话,感觉不听话就不是个人了,最后就成了这些话的精华。一直就这么长大了起来。人渐渐的成长了,脑子也就开始膨胀了,塞了很多话,一直听着,感觉憋的慌,总害怕有一天给爆了,所以时不时的把话们开始往外赶,就像拆迁一样,可我这脑子里钉子户多的很,让我用心良苦。

踏入社会之后,突然发现很多话都是瞎扯蛋,感觉被爹、娘、老师、共产党给耍了。“中华人民共和国的领导阶级是工农联盟”;“上大学是你唯一的出路”;“谈恋爱会害死你的”;“老师是园丁”……我日。 我居然差点被欺骗了一生,死是个感慨良多。

近年来,翅膀长的稍微一涨就按耐不住,扑腾开了。我下江南,走东北,入虎穴,潜龙潭。顿时发现这是世界原来是这样,噢……原来是这样。 其实,也不不能怪爹娘、老师、共产党,每个人都有自己眼中的世界,因为他们都生活在不同的世界。每个人都有自己不同的思想,不同的职业,不同的经历,不同的命运,但是人们总是喜欢认为,每个人都会和他生活在同一个世界。其实每当一个人说出自己肺腑之言时,最能代表的只是他的经历,他的命运,他并没有欺骗任何人。就好像有人说“男人没一个好东西”,这时候就会有很多寡妇站出来大喊“就是的!就是的!”,可同时又会站出来很多二姨子大骂“谁说的?谁说的!”,其实她们谁都没错,因为在寡妇和二姨子子的眼里,男人有着不同的角色,她们有着不同的经历,不同的命运,不同的男人,所以男人也就成了不同的东西。

物以类居,人以群分,社会的阶级化猛的带起了速度,这些年,眼睁睁地看着出现了“民工群”、“下岗群”、“坐台群”、“老年放荡群”……人开始变的像禽兽一样,群分了。 早晨,上班的人们趋之若骛,傍晚,下班的人们成群接队。我仿佛来到了草原。生活的节奏走的跟表一样。 今天的社会,人们都身不由己了,放羊的不放羊了,被羊放了;种田的不种田了,去修路打杂了;村姑们不织布了,改卖肉了;当官的不当官了,搞兼职了;老师不教书了,开辅导班去了……就连周杰伦一卖唱的他妈的居然拍电影了《满城尽是臭狗屎》……日,人的生活真是丰富多彩。

唉……写这篇文章时,我正在广州,我花光了身上所有的钱,身不由己的来到网吧,不由自主的写了起来,为什么同样是人,差距咋就那么大呢?

不爱我,就请收起你的暧昧滚蛋

  一个暖昧横行的时代,许许多多的人因为对爱情的无从把握而不再轻易说爱。这个时候,暖昧便隆重登场,以它特有的姿态游走于红男绿女之间,既满足了对情感的一种渴求,又不必为此而背负情感的负担。因为不爱,来去自由,因为不爱,聚散也就变的云淡风轻。

  暖昧有多近,爱情就有多远,说白了,暖昧是对情感不负责任的体现。既然不爱,又何需暖昧,难道只是因为孤单寂寞?难道只是两个人相遇,共同跳一支舞曲,然后各奔东西?爱一个人,就要勇敢的说出口,然后与之揩手共同面对人生的风风雨雨,不爱就请收起你的暖昧,各走各的路,哪怕偶然相遇,也只是淡淡招呼,心如止水。

  有时常常想,是什么给暖昧提供了生存的空间?又是哪些人矢志不渝的将暖昧进行到底?是社会的进步荒芜了爱情的沙漠?还是对真爱的无从追觅演变成了对爱情的游戏?其实说白了,暖昧只是一种谎言,一种假象,一种自我的麻痹和欺骗。爱你的人不会选择跟你暖昧,跟你暖昧的人未必爱你。爱,需要态度明确,需要黑白分明,爱也伴随着一种责任,意味着付出。所以不爱,就请收起你的暖昧,不要打着爱情的幌子,做着暖昧的勾当。

  有人说,暖昧是一种比友情多一些,比爱情少一些的的第四类情感。所以,许多围城中人,便选择了这样一种方式游走于现实与网络之间。他(她)们跟你大玩特玩暖昧,无论是语言,眼神还是行动,处处都布满了暖昧的气息。可是你不能认真,不能较真,不能想当然的把暖昧当成了爱情。否则,你就是傻瓜,就会被伤的体无完肤,心痕累累。所以,暖昧,其实说白了只不过是成年人之间的一场游戏,因为是游戏,所以参与者要时刻谨记游戏规则,一旦违反,便要被无情的淘汰出局。因为是游戏,无需专一,所以可以同时对许多人暖昧而依然游刃有余。 按理来说,对一个围城之内的人,是没有资格再说爱的,可是如果只是“爱”字不出口,暖昧的勾当却层出不穷,那么跟挂羊头卖狗肉又有什么不同呢?爱,就明明白白的爱,就轰轰烈烈的爱,就正大光明的爱,不爱,就让暖昧走开。也许,有些爱,违背了道德,违背了伦理,但至少比暖昧来的磊落,来的痛快。暖昧只不过是一层虚假的外衣,究其本质,实则是不想承担爱的责任。暖昧之人,都是处于一种观望状态,好则继续,不好则脚底抹油,溜之大吉。暖昧,为自由来去大开方便之门,因为不爱,无法较真也不能较真。 大千世界,茫茫网海,有太多对“暖昧”的忠实拥护者。

  在感情没有明确之前,以暖昧投石问路,本无可厚非。但如果惧怕承担责任,只暖昧有余,爱情免谈的,也只是造就了一场虚无飘渺的风花雪月,与人与己,又有何益,再凄美也终将不过是过眼烟云。

  当暖昧遭遇暖昧,只是两个心理素质过硬之人上演的一场心理游戏,因为寂寞,所以暖昧,同跳一曲优美的华尔兹,曲终人散,满目苍凉。

  当 暖昧遭遇爱情,便注定了一场浩劫,落花有意,流水无情,枉自一片真心,竟似野外的桃花,再怒的盛放也无人欣赏,终将不过暗自飘零。世人所追求的爱,是心心相印的默契,是两小无猜的情怀,是同甘共苦的相伴,是偕手白头的幸福。爱,真的跟暖昧无关,爱,是一种理解,一种宽容,一份责任。不爱,就请收起你的暖昧,别让暖昧晃花了你的眼,迷惑了你的心

小泉村之空中芭蕾(记寡人猛遇车祸)

长久以来,我经常遇到车祸,但自己碰上的机会并不是很多.但8月21号这天我直接中了"黄河风采"(我家乡的彩票).在回老家上坟的路上路过一个叫"小泉村"的地方.可能是我经常骂"小泉(日本前首相)"的原因,事故就这样莫名其妙的发生了. 那天我坐在车后坐的中央,前面的挡风玻璃成了一个天然的现场直播的屏幕.图象特别清晰,感觉特别逼真,情况特别良好.路上的风景很好,我悠然的坐着,观赏着.这时,车路过了一个村子,路旁零星的走着几个人.大家都没在意. 车照常的开着,离车50米左右,有两个披红戴绿的农村尕(小)妹子引起了我的高度关注.她们十来岁的样子,悠然自得的走在公路的最右侧.车当时的速度有70码左右.很快离姑娘们就有10米的样子.就在这感觉很平常的时刻,里面的一个姑娘突然向马路中央狂奔而来,没有任何征兆,连头都没有回.她跑的是那么的快,姿态是那么的怪异,就像是一只发疯的母狗. 一瞬间,车上的人发出一阵狂暴的尖叫.尤其是我爹妈,两个人吼出了他们一辈子也不可能再发出第二次的声音,惊天地,泣鬼神.我没有喊,而是镇定的看着这难得的一幕.因为,当时每个人都知道:碰定了. 姑娘的腿出奇的长,像非洲男人的中腿,她迈起了步子疯狂的奔跑着,腿叉开的幅度极大,几乎成了"一"字,我清晰的看见她的脚趾绷成了"八"字,刘翔也不过如此.但毕竟她还是个人,能跑的过车吗?我们的司机是个十多年的老司机,经验丰富,他很镇定的打正方向,踩着刹车,没有一丝恐惧,我很佩服.最终,车如愿以偿的和姑娘相撞了. 姑娘的臀部很丰满,猛猛的碰在了车的保险杠上,随之她飞了出去,我第一次见人在空中飞翔,场面是那么的壮观,让人不可思议.她在空中划着优美的弧线,手,脚,头发像陀螺一样疯狂的旋转着.脚尖绷直,双眼紧闭,"精彩!"我在心给她打了个9.56分.但很快她掉进了路旁的水渠.车也随之停下来了. 车刚一稳,我们便跑下来,结果,人居然活着``她还在那哭呢``唉``生命就是这么顽强``

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

我有爱人了

在公司的工厂里,
大部分都是越南工人,
有些越南工人会说一些音不准的简单华语,
而且他们很年轻就结婚了。

有一天,我带着几位越南工人出去installation.
其中一位跟我对话,
他 :你几岁?
我 :24, 你呢?
他 :28, 你结婚了吗?
我 :还没有!你结婚了啊?
他 :没有,我没有爱人。 你有爱人了吗?
我 : 。。。(不语)
他 :如果现在有个人要你,你要他吗?
我 :不要!
他 :为什么不要?
我 :因为我有爱人了!!

生平第一次,说出"我有爱人了!" 这种令人起鸡皮疙瘩的话。

Thursday, July 10, 2008

名句精华

知识,
不能没有...

可是,
如果没有知识,
就要有常识....

没有常识,
就要看电视....

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

us

i always wonder ,
what bonds four of us together...

i still dont get a clue,
even till now...

i barely remember how i came into this circle of friendship.
but i can remember every single happy moments we had together.

it's amazing that distance didn't do us apart...
as i can see this happening to others...

they don't chat online like how they used to...

they don't hang out together like how they used to...

it seems like...they dont care for each other anymore...

Thanks to GMAIL.
We are so together till now.



*mudan's virgin post during office hour... :D

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

我不是奶油妹!

为什么胖子总受到歧视?
就算没有被歧视那么严重,
也会被当作笑柄或娱乐工具。

对我来说,
只要不是太过分,
还是可以接受啦!
毕竟,
那是事实。

那天,
跟好久不见的阿姨吃饭,
莉妹也在,
阿姨的朋友说
莉妹长得就一幅爱吃“奶油鸡”的模样

因为这句话
莉妹下定决心了
她要向世界呐喊
“我不是奶油妹!!!”

我,
拭目以待。。。

时间

在网上无聊闲逛的时候,无意间发现一句话愿与大家共勉之。

“时间就像是乳沟,挤一挤还是会有的”

朋友,
不要总把“没时间”挂在嘴边当借口。。
这样 “时间”会很可怜的。。
因为它一直在你身边。。
而你却忽略了它的存在。。
与它擦肩而过。。

把握时间,
珍惜所有。

Pit Bull vs porcupine‏

I received this forward e-mail...

I feel the doggie is really pity yet funny....



A Pitbull decided he would battle a Porcupine in back of his house here in Southern California . But being both brave and stupid, he ultimately learned the hard way that he can't always win, no matter how tough you are...








A vet sedated the dog, and then removed a total of 1,347 quills.
The dog survived, and hopefully learned a valuable lesson.......

Don't mess with Porcupines !!!

Monday, July 7, 2008

My Boss VS LiLy 2

Story 6:

Apple bought some souvenir for us during her Hong Kong trip.
It was "加应子”。。everybody has 3 biji on table. Although I found out this jia ying zi sold in Jusco..but still very thanks to her 心意。







That day, I came back from site in the afternoon. I saw the jia ying zi on my table and I take it as my teatime break while doing my work. I ate the first biji, till second biji...Judy has some comments again..(bcoz she sitting behind me and she heard the sound I open the packing of the jia ying zi)

Judy: Wah LiLy! U eat candy non stop ar!!
LiLy: -_-!! har? no ar..I din't eat candy.
Judy: NO meh? The apple bought one...
LiLy: Ya lo..this one not candy mah..is plum..
Judy: Same lar..u still eat so much...

LiLy kena zha dou kuat kuat. Only can eat 1 biji each time???


Story 7:
One day, I was going to site with Judy.
On the way...I'm so bored and looking out to the scenery all the way...
Suddenly...I saw a Durian Tree..FULL of durians!
It's really FULL..the whole tree..really AMAZING!

LiLy: Wah~ the durian tree FULL of durians...
Judy: Where??
LiLy: Neh~ there....now is durian season?
Judy: Oh! really wor..so many durians. Like that u oso can see..really wai sek ar lei!
LiLy: ..................

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Aminah VS A Colleague...

character: Aminah
Sub character: my colleague an indian girl

one day, i met her, we greeted and intorduced each other, she is from FCM as well, so i asked her which major was she studying, she said MI. then we talked so many crap, and said bye (we are sitting in the same office). later lunch hour, we went for lunch together, and i asked her, "how do you feel about MI?", her facial expression was so surprised and shocking, i thought i did something wrong, and she said :"how did you know that Im from MI!"....(wtf...)

one day, she saw me and imran together, so she asked me what is my bf's name, i said Imran....and later again, we went for lunch, she asked me "howz Amin?", i said what about amin, she said "remember, ur bf, amin".......(emmm, her memory is like jane...)

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

My Boss VS LiLy

My boss Judy just likes to "zhat" fatty gals.

Let me tell u gals the stories....



Main Character:
Judy(Fake Name)
- My boss, 41 years old but look younger than her age. A super skinny lady.
Mr.Teo - My big boss, 50 years old but look older than his age. A fatty, cheerful man.
Apple - account staff, fatty gal.

STORY 1:
Judy: "Lily~ want to eat chocolate?" ( I din't see she take out the chocolate oso? )
Lily: " No, thankiu~"
Judy: " Cho~co~late~ wor...very nice one!" (still din't see the chocolate)
Lily: " Hehehe...don't want la..thankiu.."
Judy: "Chocolate so nice u oso don wan?"
Lily: "Hehehe...juz now eat very full..."
Judy: " Why u dont want? Scare fat ar??"
Lily: " No lah..Just now lunch I eat very full~"
Judy: " Mr.Teo said u fat jor ar... sei mei..."
Lily: " Hehehe....." ( -_-!!!!)

STORY 2:
Time: Teatime
Situation: a colleague(JJ) bought some "yao zha guai & ham jin peng" belanja us.

Judy just come back from outside...
Judy: " Sek mat yer ar lei?" ( what u eat? * translate for Rose)
Lily: " Hehehe...JJ bought yao zha guai...urs on ur table..."
Judy: " Gam fei zhong sek yao zha guai??" ( so fat still eat yao zha guai??)
Lily: "........."

STORY 3:
Time: Lunch hour
Situation: Apple brought some nice pasta to office and re-heat in microwave

Apple: "Judy, I brought some pasta, do u like to have some?"
Judy: "Sure~ Smell so nice!!"

Apple pass a plate of pasta to Judy.

Judy: "Wow..it's look great. U still can eat so much meh??" ( The problem is..Judy din't see how much Apple eat...She juz like to "zhat" fat gal)
Apple: "hehehe...yalor..need to slowly reduce lor" ( In a very "gang ga" face)

LiLy's Thought : fat gal cannot take lunch lar???


STORY 4:


During lunch time....
Judy: "Lily...I'm going out to dabao..do u want anything?"
Lily: " No, Thanks..I bring bread..."
Judy: " U eat bread??? very fat one!!"
Lily: " ........."


Lily's Thought: Is that mean can't eat bread at all??!!

Story 5:
During lunch time again.....
Judy: "Lily! U keep drink water...no need take lunch ar?"
Lily: "I'm not hungry yet..later just eat"
Judy: "U know...drink too much water also will bcome fat!"
Lily: "Har?? but if i drink not enough water..I easily get sick..."
Judy: "How u know u drink not enough water?"
Lily: "I'll feel sore throat..."
Judy: "What u eat? y will sore throat?"
Lily: "bcoz drink less water lo..." -_-!!!!!
Judy: "u know... I ever see ppl need to release water in hospital!!"
Lily: "really?"
Judy: " bcoz of drink too much water!"
Lily: "ooo...."
Judy: "tat's y lor...don drink so much water..not good one..."
Lily: "...................."




Lily's Thought: yaya...like u one day not even drink 500ml water...I early early sick die jor...

make cheese at home??

wei wei flowers~~
anybody like cheese??
i dunno u guys lah, but i like cheese very very much~~emm..yum yum~~
u know wat? i tried make it at home last week ler,
very easy step, but not really taste good lah
i found the recipe in the internet de,
different type of cheese have different kind of ingredients,
some dunno where can get it, i just tried the easiest one..
if u guys know how n taste really good....teach me ar...ok?

--lotus--

中国普通话VS马来西亚华语

马来西亚华人乃是晚清时广东省和闽南移民华侨的后代。当地华人对华教的坚持、文化的传承是不留余力的。我们堪称是海外华人中中文水准颇高的华人,但且看我们的普通话.............

中国人:今晚你有空吗?我没空!
马来西亚华人:今晚你得不得空?我不得空!

中国人:饼干受潮了…
马来西亚华人:饼干'漏风'了…

中国人:从上海去苏州要多少个小时?
马来西亚华人:从上海去苏州要几粒钟?

中国人:难道他不可以来吗?
马来西亚华人:你不给他不来啊?

中国人:周杰伦不喜欢穿内裤? ?
马来西亚华人:周杰伦不喜欢穿底裤??

中国人:我一向都是这样的
马来西亚人:我一路来都是这样的啦

中国人:我的手机掉进沟渠了
马来西亚华人:我的手机掉进龙沟了

中国人:这样你不是很不值得吗?
马来西亚华人:这样你'马'很不 '歹'?

中国人:你真是聪明!
马来西亚华人:你真是pan nai!(源自马来语pandai,聪明的意思)

中国人:你安静!
马来西亚华人:你diam diam!(源自马来语diam,安静的意思)

中国人:我要去银行取款。
马来西亚华人:我要去银行'按钱'。

中国人:为什么?
马来西亚华人:做么?

中国人:你很强~
马来西亚华人:你很够力~

中国人:明天也叫他一起去吧!
马来西亚华人:明天叫'埋'他一起去!

中国人:我很郁闷~~~
马来西亚华人:我很'显'(sien)啊~~~~('显'比郁闷的境界更高)

中国人:你再说我就打你!
马来西亚华人:你再说我就hood你!(有点粗俗的)

中国人:你在说什么?
马来西亚华人:你在说sommok?

中国人:你不要令我丢脸~
马来西亚华人:你不要'下水'我~

中国人:真被你气到…。
马来西亚华人:被你炸到…。

中国人:你别乱来~
马来西亚华人:你表乱乱来~

中国人:你很无聊
马来西亚华人:你很废

中国人:迫切
马来西亚华人:bek chek

中国人:我们结婚吧!
马来西亚华人:我们结'分'吧!('婚'字受粤语影响,所以音不标准)

中国人:今天的天气很热~
马来西亚华人:今天的天气热到。。。。。。。。。。。。。。~~~~~~~('到'字要拉长,然后没有下文了)

中国人:哇!
马来西亚华人:哇捞weh!!!!

中国人:我受不了他!
马来西亚华人:我behtahan他!


FLOWERS VERSION:
Lotus: Eh..."葡萄干" 广东话怎么说??
LiLy: Hrm..."pou tou gon"??? hahaha.....
Mudan: 不是 Raisin meh????

=P

by LiLy